Appointment and Food stamps

Things are looking up. I applied for food stamps and got the full amount! Woot. This means that instead of using my entire paycheck for food I can use it to get back on T! This is such a relief for me. I made an appointment for December 3rd. I can't wait to go and get back on track. Also my doctor is a transwoman herself which is super cool. Anyway, I'm crazy busy so I can't write much. Fitness is pretty good. I think I have tendonitis in my knee. My weight is at 207.4lbs. I'm very slowly losing weight which is fine by me. I'm feeling pretty good where I'm at for now.
Gotta jet!

Testosterone?

Well, I talked with my PLUS adviser about the problems not being on T is causing in my studies and life at large. It was a good talk and she was super supportive, and found me a good contact person to whom I will be writing an email and likely calling later in the week. The person is a therapist with a masters in social work and comes highly recommended by a local transperson. I'm told that she would be able to help me find good possibly low cost care in Portland or the surrounding area. I'm feeling like there is hope. With Jen coming back I will be able to feasibly see a doctor there. Maybe I will be able to find someone on a sliding scale. I can always hope. Also I will be getting my first workstudy paycheck on the 30th! I've pretty much decided that most of my pay is going to be funneled into getting back on T, name change, and gender marker on a new Oregon drivers license. I feel like even against the odds I can begin to progress on my transition again. Think good thoughts for me as this isn't going to be easy. You can also send money if you suddenly feel a little to flush. :)
Either way send good thoughts or money (or both)
Peace

I did some measuring

It has been a while since I did my body measurements because I was feeling bad about how my body fat was redistributing. I compared these with my measurements at the begining of June and since then I have lost a total of 12 inches! Four of these are off of my belly alone. Pretty cool huh?

What is it like to be trans and poor

Being trans and poor means...
Not being able to get regular healthcare.
Hoping no one sees the gender marker on your ID.
Inconsistent hormone use.
Painful emotional ups and downs because you are either on and off your hormones or are "rationing" them to last longer.
Watching "everyone" around you getting top surgery while your chest remains a great source of disphoria.
Having to come out to people in public places due to gender markers not matching.
Depression and anxiety because you have been off T for ages and these problems shine through when your body returns to its original chemistry.

Needless to say I'm going through a hard time being off T. I gotta find a way. I fear if I don't my classes are going to suffer. Actually they are suffering already. I feel like I'm failing at life all ready.

Bleh..

Do you ever read a quality blog and think wow everything I write on mine is trite and boring? Oh wait it kind of is and that is somewhat the point of it all. I try not to delude myself into thinking that what I write is terribly interesting, but it would be nice if it were. I think the fact of the matter is that I don't care enough to write well. Good old lazy me.
I'm getting sick. Bleh. And frankly I wish I was spending this year trying to get my MA cert instead of plowing ahead with a hundred other kids all trying to get 14 coveted nursing positions. Such is life. I'm not down like it sounds, maybe just bored (and sick).
Homework is lingering in front of me...meh